Oh Meggy…..

So today Megan had her very first physio therapy session (she has been diagnosed with hyper mobility syndrome) and I was a little worried about how it would go. We all know that, when it comes to this girl, anything is possible.

But in all of the worst case scenarios that I imagined, I never once envisaged that she would stand there, strip off butt naked and shout, “Hey lady!! Look at my boobies!!”

Though she may be little, she is fierce…..


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The Out-takes

You know the drill, the kids have got their new Christmas party clothes on and you really want a photo of them looking gorgeous, and clean, before they are covered in sweat, snot and chocolate and looking as though they’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards.

And yet even with a little help from your sister, it’s still just so hard to summon a smile.


A variety of pleading and bribery still fails to raise a smile….

“Try and look as though you like eachother!”, I say.

“A little less headlock?”….


“How about let’s see who can say cheese the loudest?”…..


“Slightly less cheese??”


“Try to think of something funny!” I told them, clutching at straws now.

“Megan poo poo pants!!” Eva blurted out, much to their amusement, and to mine as I finally got the perfect shot of my beautiful girls.



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Where does the time go?

Today I received Lewis’s first high school photo and I have to admit, it brought a tear to my eye. I’ve been sat here looking at his handsome face and wondering, when did my baby get so big? Where did my little boy with his baby face go? When did his gappy toothed smile sprout adult teeth, his chubby little cheeks slim down, his crazy bed head become so perfectly coiffed?

Because it feels as though in the space of just three months at high school he has aged a good few years. He suddenly knows about things that I had never even heard of at that age, things that just thinking about make me blush! He has new friends I have never heard of before, new names mentioned every day, new faces knocking at the door or chatting on the phone. He has a girlfriend, (a GIRLFRIEND!!!) who looks at least fifteen and who he spends all of his spare time texting whilst hiding his phone whenever I ask what he’s doing. He’s developed a penchant for designer clothes, for Ralph Lauren and whatever else it is that boys of his age are wearing these days. He spends even longer doing his hair each morning, worries about things things like spots, bad breath and has a whole array of deodorants, shower gels and aftershaves!!

He’s gone from a child to something much more. Not yet an adult, not quite a teenager, but something in the middle. Someone who I look at and feel so proud of but I wish, how I wish, that time would slow down just a little.


My Meggy, making progress!!

So many people ask me each day, “How’s your Megan doing?” and so I thought that I would briefly share with you all that, most of the time, she is doing amazingly well.

A couple of months ago I was well and truly at the end of my tether and yet since starting nursery two mornings a week (which she LOVES!!) and finding new ways to deal with her anger and frustration, she has made huge progress.

She has grown into a loving, sensitive, intuitive, affectionate little girl who admittedly will still lash out at times, but the biggest difference now is that she is hugely apologetic. She will tell us, “Me a good girl, me not angry!” as she showers us with kisses and although she still has issues with social situations, a dislike of other people, loud noises and change in routine, at home she is finally  finding her place in the pecking order and being much kinder to her siblings.

I don’t expect miracles with her behaviour, and I still think that some of her issues are far more concerning than others, but the majority of the time she seems happier, her vocabulary is astounding and she is making progress every single day. And I have to be honest with you, I never thought that this day would come!

So for now, when people ask me, “How’s your Megan doing?” I tell them that she is unlike any other child I have ever met,  hilariously funny, ridiculously beautiful, a whirlwind of craziness and, most of the time, an absolute joy to be around.


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Off on our jollies!!

After the disaster of our Summer holiday we decided, thanks to my lovely parents, that an Autumn break at Centerparcs was just what we needed!!

Tomorrow morning the five of us (Gaz is working until Wednesday, boooo!!) and my parents are off to Whinfell forest for a week of quad biking, paint balling, Segways, Aqua jets, aerial adventures and a whole host of other activities, none of which sound remotely restful!!

We are so excited, Lewis is packed and ready to go, Eva has asked every two minutes for the past four weeks “Is it time for holiday now?”, Harry, admittedly, remains oblivious, and Megan…I’m sure I don’t even need to tell you, is as happy as ever!!

Looking forward to spending a week with my little doves, enjoying time together, making memories to treasure and as always, taking lots of photos!! See you on the other side!!!


Happy Halloween!!

Happy Halloween!!!

It all started off so well, Eva was a “witch” (we didn’t dare tell her otherwise) and Megan was……well, according to Eva she was a bull, but if you asked Meggy she was a rhino!!

In the space of thirty seconds we went from smiles and laughter to tears and tantrums….and when it comes to my girls I never expect anything less!!


Somewhere over the rainbow

Rainbows are very special to our family. We played Eva Cassidy “Somewhere over the rainbow” at Josephs funeral and for a long time afterwards, rainbows would appear as if from nowhere as though to tell me that it was going to be okay. Even now, whenever we see a rainbow I think of Joseph and often on photos a rainbow will appear, even on the darkest of days.

Rainbows are even more special now that we have three rainbow babies to complete our family. A rainbow baby is the name given to a baby that follows a loss and is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears it does not mean that the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of colour, energy and hope.

Here we are today, two of my rainbow babies and a very special rainbow close to our hearts.


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A magic ring and pink plastic hair straighteners #photos

This morning Eva had a little Halloween party at pre-school and was very excited about wearing her witch costume! She really threw herself into the role of wicked witch, casting evil spells with her “magic ring” (which was actually one of those crappy plastic rings off a Greggs fairy cake) and turning Grandad into a frog. “I’m a wicked witch! Hocus Pocus now you’re a frog!” she shouted.

And, as my Dad hopped around the kitchen, doing the worst frog impression of all time, my poor Meggy was absolutely distraught, “But I don’t want Grandad to be a frog!!” she sobbed, real tears pouring down her face and her shoulders shaking with such distress, “I want Grandad to just be a Grandad!”.

“I’m not a real witch Meggy!” Eva told her, “I’m your sister!!”. And as she gave her a big hug and a kiss I heard her whisper, “Here, have some hair straighteners, that will cheer you up!”….

How I love these girls, my funny little Meggy and her big sister who would do just about anything to make her happy.